Black Sheep, Narrow Way

I figured out the story was never rewritten.

I get questioned a lot. Not always out loud, but I feel it. People assume I don’t understand Christianity.

I understand it. I was raised inside it. Western church, every Sunday, the songs and the language and the certainty that came with all of it.

The lights came on later. I had already been reading scripture in Hebrew for a few years, already digging into the Jewishness of the text, when I discovered where we came from. Spain. The expulsion. A lineage my family never talked about.

The Lord was calling me to something he hadn’t revealed yet.

The story never changed. Jeremiah 31 says the renewed covenant goes to the house of Israel and the house of Judah. Same people. Same story. Not a replacement, a renewal. Genesis to Revelation, one line. God did not change his mind and start something new. Rome moved the seam and called it a new religion, and most of us inherited that seam without ever being told it was there. We were never taught to be Berean. Which is its own kind of irony, since the instruction is right there in the text.

So this isn’t ignorance. Picture watching an old black and white TV your whole life, then walking into an IMAX. Same story on the screen. You just never saw it in full.

So I’m a real black sheep. Everywhere I go. God removed the gatekeeping, and that was the entire point, but every room I walk into has built its own gate anyway. Church has them. Messianic spaces have them too, dressed up in different vocabulary. You want to make people angry? Go after the branded gate. Their denomination. That’s where the nerve is. I don’t fit in either room, because I’m not looking for the gate. I’m looking for the story. And that’s where I find my comfort. The way is narrow. It was never supposed to be crowded.

So that’s why I keep writing. Not to win an argument. Acts 15 settled it. The nations come in without becoming something else first. The gate is open, and it was opened by the God of Israel, in a Jewish story, to a Jewish Messiah, for anyone who wants in. Nobody has to be let in by a man.

If you want to know what motivates me, this is it. If the ones building fences around Torah understood what Rome took, and went after it, we would see Mashiach sooner. Some of them see it. Most write Christianity off as not worth their time. But they know the scriptures. It’s right there in the text they already hold. Unpack it and it’s there. Both sides are guarding something. Neither is reclaiming it. The epitome of human nature.

That’s why I built the Berean Table. That’s why I post on Substack.

That’s me getting it out of my head and onto the page. Head’s clear now.